TW
You could have BPD1, and I hope you can see a professional. I also have it and I went through a lot of shit before I got the right help. I'm not sure if this is helpful, but here's a bit of info about BPD1 from someone who has it: For you to have BPD1 your episodes of mania and depression would need to last for quite a bit. It's not just like a switch is flicked every hour or so. Manic episodes should feel like you have a ton of energy but it kinda feels like everything is heightened and you need to crawl out of your skin. Like it feels like my body is buzzing. I also talk a lot and constantly switch topics and interrupt. Basically vocal diarrhea. Luckily I haven't had a manic episode in years. Whether or not you are having these symptoms or not I hope you can get some help.
And if it means anything to you, I like you. I think you are both a fun and pleasant person to be around. I wish I could get to know you better (aka please be my friend).
You are neither horrible or annoying. You are wonderful and precious.
Sorry for the weird ramble. It makes me feel good I guess when I get to meet people who have/could have BPD1 also. Just cause it can be so isolating.
