sorry that it's so long...
my mom yelled at me again. she made stuff up, called me names, and threatened me. then she told me that she got on here and looked at everything. she saw what I had said before on this thread. she called me stupid, a liar, and other stuff. apparently to her my feelings and emotions don't matter. I don't matter, and i'm just an obstacle in her way. she never cared about me. she always acts like shes the only one struggling. i always feel invisible on here and irl. sometimes I wonder if i'm even there. would anyone care if I just disappeared? they say they would....but would they actually. I'm depressed, and all I do every day is sit around, sleeping, and eating. I want to get up and actually do something, but I just can't. my mom calls me lazy, and says I don't do anything. I feel lonely, even though I have friends. I feel annoying. I feel disgusting. I feel like I'm just a burden to everyone. I can never tell my mom how I feel cause she always just says i'm "playing victim." and I've started to believe that when I say how I feel, it doesn't matter and i'm just "playing victim." it hurts to even look in a mirror. my mom is yelling at me as I type this. the only reason i'm still here is because of k-pop and my friends on here. I don't want to be here anymore. I feel like all I do is make everything sad and depressing. on here I feel annoying, and like I'm just interrupting people. when people ask "hru?"I always say good, even though i'm doing terrible. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up ever again. I feel like if I wasn't here, people would be happier. I don't have any talent. I have no hobbies. I'm afraid of everything. why am I like this...? why can't I just be normal, and have hobbies or talents. why can't I ever get out of bed? why does everyone ignore me? why does everyone hate me... i really don't want to be here anymore. I try everyday to make it to the next day, but it's so hard.
byebye
