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HueningKaiGooner

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i feel so much guilt for the things i’ve done, im starting to believe i deserve everything that has happened to me. i thought i was a good person, a decent person atleast but im starting to rethink that. ive made so many mistakes and i can’t get them out of my head. i just want to be happy with myself but i can’t even do that. i want to make friends and be good to them but i cant even do that. why is everything so complicated for me. i really dont know why i act the way i do, its frustrating when i do things and i dont know where its coming from. i’m 15 not a fucking baby, i can’t deal with myself being like this. everything is so difficult and im trying my best but it’s hard. i wanna be proud to be who i am, i can’t find a single thing that’s positive about myself. how can i be satisfied with myself. i can’t keep living like this, its draining. i’d give anything to be a good person, but ive done so much wrong. so fucking much. the person i hate the most is myself, everyday im forced to be here. i’m so tired, i don’t know how to fix myself. i’m so exhausted. it’s mostly times when my thoughts are roaming free where i realize im exhausted with myself. part of me hopes nobody ever gets to spend the rest of their life with me. it’s exhausting to be with me. i want to start over so bad. i’ve met so many amazing people and ive lost most of them. i want to be a good person for people. i want to be somebody who is easy to trust, but i mess that all up for myself. i feel like a nobody sometimes and it just hurts. what am i supposed to do with myself? i don’t want this.
 

ohnlyhyuk

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These feelings, while painful, are common experiences, especially for teenagers and individuals going through puberty, and there are effective strategies and resources to help you manage them and build a more positive self-image. When you have a negative thought like I'm a bad person, I can't do anything right, question its validity. Is it based on fact or assumption? Try to reframe it into a more balanced or hopeful thought, like, I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person, or I can get better with practice. Try to build relationships with people who are supportive and appreciate you. Connecting with others who may share similar experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation. If these feelings persist and interfere with your daily life, speaking with a mental health professional like a counselor or therapist can be very beneficial, therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can provide specific skills to manage intense emotions and challenge negative thought patterns.
 
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