Do you think it's right?

[saaylhy]

In the last weeks of my school year, I was wearing a chain with colorful butterflies in it.

Spoiler: Like this but with colored butterflies

So when my lgbts+ friends saw this, they said:
"Hey, you're wearing this chan with butterflies and you're saying that you're straight?"
"Chains with butterflies are for lgbtq+ people"
"I'm sure you aren't straight."
Please, I'm not against lgbtq+, but i I have the right to be straight and wear chain with butterflies. Why criticize me for that?
They also mentionned the way i stan txt/skz/nct even if i'm straight (like they're gay groups etc)
So, i feel free to talk about it here, sowhat are your thoughts? Am I right?​

 

[yunaing]

You are right.

I’m part of the LBGTQ+ community and I’m “straight passing”. No one knows I’m lesbian until i actually tell them or they spend long enough with me to realise. And I literally hate all the stereotypes about what LGBTQ+ wear and don’t wear and what they like and don’t like because I have a really hard time with self validation and hearing stereotypes like this, it makes me struggle even more with validating myself. “I don’t act gay” “I don’t look gay” “maybe I’m not gay then”.

Forgive me for being a bit controversial but I hate the culture of LGBTQ+ online now. Don’t get me wrong, some activists do amazing work and spread really important info about the community. But at the same time, stuff like that happens. Being gay isn’t a fashion style. Being gay isn’t a club. It’s exactly the same as being straight, just with a different preference (in terms of lifestyle not descrimination issues). The gatekeeping is weird. Sometimes funny when actually in a joke manner but that didn’t seem funny to me at all

 

[ImJustKpopTrash]

As someone who's part of the LGBTQ+ community, people who do this absolutely irritate me. It's impossible to tell someone's sexuality by what they wear and saying so is just wrong on so many levels. Let people express themself the way they want without feeling pressured to look "straight" or "gay." Like why do we have to look a certain way, we shouldn't have to and it should be down to the individual to express themself the way they see fit without being judged.

 

[ec.li.ps.e]

I'm gay and I dress it. And the jokes in the community are funny. But... harrassing people for what they wear when they're straight is just not it. There are some articles of clothing that have historical significance to the queer community, but that doesn't mean that straight people can't wear them. Also, a chain with butterflies on it isn't one of those??? It's literally just a piece of aesthetically pleasing clothing. Not my particular aesthetic, but I can see people liking it.

This has happened to one of my straight friends irl, too. There are jokes in the community about frogs being "queer culture", the color green, Doc Martens, etc. All of that. And she's straight and she likes all of it. And I joke with her about her being the gayest straight woman I know, but like, it's a joke, and we keep it comfortable. I don't try to come on to her., nor do I try to insist she's actually queer. And I don't bully her for being straight or yell at her for wearing those items or liking frogs or whatever either? Because it's a joke and it should be a joke?

There's a video I watched yesterday that talked about heterfatalism and queer culture was mentioned as being a sort of reaction to straight culture, but like, 50% of people in the UK now identify as queer, making "queer culture" less reactionary and more mainstream. Which is a good thing. "Queer culture" being mainstream means being queer is more accepted; at least that's what I think. It's stupid to be mad at someone for how they dress.

Also like, getting mad at you for stanning certain groups because they're "gay" or whatever when we (as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong) have ZERO confirmation that they're gay or straight or whatever is weird! Supporting gay rights doesn't make someone gay. Skinship among group members is largely orchestrated and fake. And shipping is fantasy and should be separated from reality at all costs. Trying to lump a certain group into the community without confirmation is just wrong. Keep that in fantasy.

That was really long lol

 

[saaylhy]

I'm gay and I dress it. And the jokes in the community are funny. But... harrassing people for what they wear when they're straight is just not it. There are some articles of clothing that have historical significance to the queer community, but that doesn't mean that straight people can't wear them. Also, a chain with butterflies on it isn't one of those??? It's literally just a piece of aesthetically pleasing clothing. Not my particular aesthetic, but I can see people liking it.

This has happened to one of my straight friends irl, too. There are jokes in the community about frogs being "queer culture", the color green, Doc Martens, etc. All of that. And she's straight and she likes all of it. And I joke with her about her being the gayest straight woman I know, but like, it's a joke, and we keep it comfortable. I don't try to come on to her., nor do I try to insist she's actually queer. And I don't bully her for being straight or yell at her for wearing those items or liking frogs or whatever either? Because it's a joke and it should be a joke?

There's a video I watched yesterday that talked about heterfatalism and queer culture was mentioned as being a sort of reaction to straight culture, but like, 50% of people in the UK now identify as queer, making "queer culture" less reactionary and more mainstream. Which is a good thing. "Queer culture" being mainstream means being queer is more accepted; at least that's what I think. It's stupid to be mad at someone for how they dress.

Also like, getting mad at you for stanning certain groups because they're "gay" or whatever when we (as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong) have ZERO confirmation that they're gay or straight or whatever is weird! Supporting gay rights doesn't make someone gay. Skinship among group members is largely orchestrated and fake. And shipping is fantasy and should be separated from reality at all costs. Trying to lump a certain group into the community without confirmation is just wrong. Keep that in fantasy.

That was really long lol

very long but very meaningful! thank you

 

[pika_chuu]

Hun, what? Your friends are saying that? Forgive me for suggesting, but, I think you need better friends. There is no way to 'dress gay'. There are no "gay" k-pop groups. (Although there are some who certainly act like it aka monsta x we see u over there uh what okay I'll stop myself now, though in all honesty it's wonderful how open-minded some of these groups are ^^) Do you know how many men cross-dress? Myself included? Not all cross-dressers are gay. Or femboys, for that matter. Some of us just like to wear pretty skirts and dresses. (Though I am gay, that has nothing to do with why I am a femboy or cross-dress.) Your butterfly chain, for one, sounds awesome, I want one, and for another, is an aesthetic fashion choice. No sexual orientation issues there, it's just... Fashion. It really bothers me how some of us in the LGBTQ+ community can be so hypocritical. We get all on cis-het people's cases because they say we "dress gay", and that's how they know we are, and now we're claiming fashion and actually saying that it's"gay"? No, uh-uh.

 

[yunaing]

Sorta linked to this ig but I remember when a poll revealed 25% of Moomoos identified as straight (yes… 3/4 were lgbtq+) and Moomoos began to harass any of the het moomoos. It started as a joke but then Moos started feeling actually harassed and unwelcome in the community during that day. One of the reasons I left stan Twitter

 

[pika_chuu]

Sorta linked to this ig but I remember when a poll revealed 25% of Moomoos identified as straight (yes… 3/4 were lgbtq+) and Moomoos began to harass any of the het moomoos. It started as a joke but then Moos started feeling actually harassed and unwelcome in the community during that day. One of the reasons I left stan Twitter

These are the times where I'm glad I'm not allowed to have social media.

 

[saaylhy]

These are the times where I'm glad I'm not allowed to have social media.

same here.

 

[moonlight]

i hate that people are how do i say this like assigning what you can't and can wear bc of your sexuality which i think is quite pointless tbh
like clothes were idk maybe designed to express somebody personality, what they like dislike etc but when a person doesn't know that there isn't actually a line to cross with clothing that you want to wear etc it gets quite negative mentally yk
so just wear whatever you want because expressing yourself is way more important than what other people think then they cant handle that then stuff them yk lol

 

[boo]

I hate people like that, as a person whose been called lgbtq even though I’m 100% sure I’m not. You’re definitely in the right. I wear butterfly earrings and have a rainbow chain in my car, yet I’m straight so who really cares. They’re the weird ones for thinking it matters if something simple like butterflies means you’re gay

 

[renbow]

Are we evolving backwards or what? I truly believe that sometimes. Their mindset is the nicest to say.... absurd.

 

[cix.sense]

once a friend of mine left me for liking k-pop. Saying that their gay, so what? Even if their gay or not what does it matter to you? I appreciate their music and the idols for who they are. And they also said how my mom is gay because she dyes her hair multiple colors, (ex. Like once my mom dyed her hair a bright magenta color, or seafoam green it looked cool ngl.) But my mom is straight, and dying your hair doesnt determine wether you're part of the community. They said my sister was gay, for dying her hair purple. Smh honestly :| this happened last year but uh yeah